Loyalty.
That word gets paraded around like a virtue. And for good reason—it’s tied to our sense of honor, trust, and belonging. But here’s the gut-punch truth:
Loyalty becomes a lie when it keeps you stuck.
Some of you are loyal to a job that doesn’t value you.
Loyal to a boss who plays favorites.
Loyal to a version of yourself that no longer fits.
And deep down, you know it.
You feel it every time you silence your ideas in meetings, pick up the slack with no recognition, or talk yourself out of chasing the thing you actually want, because “I owe it to them.”
No. You owe it to yourself.
The Dangerous Side of Loyalty
We were raised on fairy tales that reward the loyal servant.
But this isn’t a storybook—it’s your life. And loyalty misdirected is just another word for self-betrayal.
Let’s be real:
- Loyalty to a paycheck that keeps you dependent? That’s not honorable. That’s imprisonment.
- Loyalty to leaders who once believed in you but haven’t called your number in months? That’s not commitment. That’s denial.
- Loyalty to the “safe” path you chose 10 years ago? That’s not wisdom. That’s fear in a business suit.
Here’s what I’ve seen: People don’t fail because they’re not talented.
They fail because they’re too damn loyal to things that no longer serve them. They think playing it safe will save them. But every time someone says “better safe than sorry,” I know exactly how they’re going to end up—safe and sorry.
Your Dreams Deserve a Better Bodyguard
We tell our kids to follow their dreams, but then we model compromise.
We model putting others first, always.
We model playing small, biting our tongue, and calling it maturity.
But what if the most mature thing you can do is choose yourself?
There’s a moment in Dante’s Inferno—yes, the classic poem—where he sees souls marching outside the gates of hell. Why? Because they never picked a side. Never took a stand. Never chose themselves. He called them shades—not fully formed, not truly alive.
That’s what this world does to people who stay stuck in loyalty to things that don’t serve them. It hollows them out. Turns them into echoes of who they could’ve been.
How Loyalty Becomes Self-Sabotage
In a powerful study on women in leadership, researchers identified nine domains of personal power—each with its own form of sabotage. One of them? Holding back. Another? Dishonesty—with themselves, with their boundaries, with their truths. Overcoming Self-Sabotage….
Why?
Because we were taught to be “good.”
To not make waves.
To be grateful for what we’ve got.
So we overextend, overcommit, and overstay. All in the name of loyalty.
But there’s a difference between being loyal and being lost.
And most people don’t even know when they’ve crossed the line.
Let’s Talk About You
Ask yourself this:
- Are you loyal to the mission—or to the memory of how things used to be?
- Are you loyal to a person, or to who you had to become to stay close to them?
- Are you loyal to your values—or to your validation?
I’ve said this from the stage, and I’ll say it here again:
Stop obsessing over your reputation with others if your reputation with yourself is in the gutter.
Loyalty that costs you your integrity isn’t loyalty—it’s betrayal.
The Shift: From Loyalty to Liberation
Choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s sacred.
It’s the moment you stop asking for permission and start moving with purpose.
It’s when your ‘yes’ has weight because your ‘no’ finally means something.
At The Delaney Agency, I’ve seen what happens when people break the loyalty lie. When they stop defending comfort and start building courage. And let me tell you—freedom looks damn good on them.
I’ve watched part-time agents go from barely scraping by to pulling in $75K, then six figures a month. Not because they were special. But because they let go of what was no longer serving them.
So Here’s the Challenge
Stop being loyal to what hurts you.
Stop calling it growth when it’s really guilt.
Stop confusing endurance with evolution.
You don’t need another permission slip.
You need a plan. A decision. A damn backbone.
If you’ve outgrown your environment, leave it.
If you’ve outgrown your role, elevate it.
If you’ve outgrown their vision, create your own.
Because you weren’t put here to march behind someone else’s banner.
You were born to blaze your own.
You can stay stuck in the story, or you can become the author of your life.
Choose wisely.
Choose you.
